


that would be enough

by hanorganaas



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Character Study, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Hopeful Ending, Mild Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-04
Updated: 2017-05-04
Packaged: 2018-10-28 03:20:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10822671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanorganaas/pseuds/hanorganaas
Summary: Cassian laments choosing to have a friends with bennefits relationship with Jyn to protect her rather than having it go further.





	that would be enough

**Author's Note:**

> or @literatiruinedme who asked for a Friends with Benefits AU for the May 4th Exchange. May the force be with you my friend! And enjoy the fan fic X33 Ps shoutout to @therebelcaptainnetwork for setting this up and keeping the love of these two no chill idiots alive!

Cassian often waited for Jyn to fall asleep, after what they called the intimate moments. He would often prop himself up on his arm and watched her as she slept peacefully beside him in the bed they sometimes shared. In a time where he was surrounded by war it was something he needed to see. It was a sense of light that vanquished the darkness of his past and present.

Jyn looked angelic when she slept. It was almost like looking at a meteor shower, or an aurora. Her dark eyes are shut. Her brown hair which was always usually bound up in a ponytail was sprawled across across the pillow as if it were extra cushioning for the pillows. Her mouth slightly parted letting the air flow through her lungs. One was sprawled out to hold his hand the other slipped underneath her head and ear. Her pastel skin contrasted beautifully with the dark sheets below her.

She breathed in a gentle motion, in and out, in and out. Steady in and out, like the oceans he used to walk upon on Yavin VI. It almost felt like home. Like none of the shit he went through never happened. But he might as well savor this beautiful image now for what it was worth. In the morning she would be gone. It was the way it worked.

They had dinner. They fucked. They went to sleep. And then what ever happened, never happened until they decided to repeat the cycle again.

Did Cassian want it differently? Of course! He often thought about couples like his teammates Baze and Chirrut. The two guardians of the Whills had been married for how long? Decades probably, longer than Cassian was still alive. They were always an affectionate couple. Sometimes, Cassian would catch the two men cuddled in the ship. Other times at the spur of the moment, Baze would grab Chirrut’s hand for the hell of it. The worst for Cassian was when he would see them kissing at the end of a mission. The captain was envious they had what he didn’t

But Cassian couldn’t afford it. Both he and Jyn were high ranking members of the Rebellion. They had much of a target on their back as Luke Skywalker and his friends Han Solo and Princess Leia Organa did. All targets had their weak spots, Cassian knew this as a soldier. Once the enemy knew the weak spot they would use it against him. If people were to know his feelings for Jyn Erso….the woman who helped him steal the plans for a weapon, strong and brave, unlike any woman he met before, were to be hurt or killed on his accord…

Cassian bit his lip and brushed the hair away from Jyn’s face. It was something he truly did not want to think about and hoped a simple touch would distract him. But as he moved his fingers down her neck Jyn hummed and twitched just a little. Soon she opened her eyes and gazed upon him with a soft expression.

“Can’t sleep?” Jyn asked, “nightmare or..”

“Just thinking,” Cassian answered.

“About us aren’t you?” Cassian turned his head away. Of all the people on the Rogue one team, Jyn always seemed to be the one to read him like a book. “You have that pensive look everytime I ask if we were having fun tonight., Cassian if you want to make this relationship more than just, a little bit of fun once in awhile I have been waiting to take the next step for a long time.”

Cassian’s eyes widened. From the beginning of the relationship, Jyn never asked questions. She probably assumed Cassian just wanted to have an intimate relationship with her, nothing more. But it seemed as time passed it became frighteningly aware he wanted more than just sex, and Jyn was ready to take whatever step with him he wanted. It something that he was thrilled about…but…

“I can’t Jyn,” Cassian lamented. Jyn sighed and turned her head away, but the captain gently slipped his hand under her chin and adjusted her face to gaze upon him, “It’s not that I don’t love you, I am crazy about you. Before you came into my life, I had nothing, no one to love, and then you came…and…I suddenly knew what love felt like.” As Cassian spoke the words, Jyn’s smile slowly appeared upon her face, as if the words were sinking in and warming up the cold, “It’s just that..”

“It’s too dangerous,” Jyn moved her face close to his. Her hand slipped to touch his skin and her fingers traced the stubble on his cheeks. “I know…it’s the very same reason my father let me go all those years ago…to protect me.” Cassian nodded in agreement. There was relief flowing through him that she understood. “Listen if while this war is going on, you want to have this strictly sexual relationship, I don’t care, I love you…and I love being with you so I am satisfied. But I want you to make me a promise.” Cassian nodded. “That when this war is over, we take the next step and not hide anymore.”

Cassian’s gaze never left her. There was a sparkle in his eyes, and warmth filling his heart, as if the sun came out and melted the snow. He bridged the gap between them kissing Jyn gently. He felt his body still intertwined with hers once firing up again with desire.

“Why do you think I fight really hard in this war?” He murmured sweetly against her lips, “the quicker we fight off the Empire, the quicker we can be together.”

Jyn only deepened the kiss.

“Good.”

There was one kiss and another, each deepening as each pulse. Soon their intertwined bodies were moving together igniting their desire. Cassian’s hands moved every area they could reach, as moans left his lips and he reveled in the friction of her breasts against his chest. Time seemed to go slow as the sounds of shuffling on the base and nature seemed to their moans and breaths.

Cassian knew one day, it would be more than this. One day he would be able to hold Jyn’s hand spontaneously in a meeting. One day he would be able to have her leap in his arms after a long mission and reunite in a passionate kiss. And no longer, he would have to hide. He would be able to profess his love for louder and for everyone to hear.

But for now, to have her here in his arms, to know what it was like to be inside her and to feel her lips against his, it was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Don't be afraid to Send me Prompts at
> 
> http://melindamaay.co.vu/


End file.
